Monday, June 4, 2018

GI Joe Vintage Fast Draw Action Figure Quick Review

GI Joe Vintage Fast Draw Action Figure
Beware the firepower of a US Clerk typist!
Fast Draw was one of the GI Joes that, if you really think about it, is absolutely ridiculous. But he did make our imaginations fly.

Bear with us people as we try a new camera here in the Dungeon.

Frankly we're not impressed and will stick to the Samsung Note 5 that we've been shooting with for quite some time now.

Anyway, to the uninitiated this is Fast Draw, the GI Joe Mobile Missile specialist who is much loved and much hated for introducing FAFNIR or the Fire and Forget Non-Tube Launched Infantry Rocket.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

GI Joe Vintage Fast Draw Action Figure Fast Draw was born Eliot Brown from Collierville, Tennessee - a nice little suburb of Memphis which is most famous for the Civil War Battle of Collierville. He's a Ordnance Specialist who doubles as a Clerk Typist when he's not busy blowing things up.  Fast Draw's blister card reads "Fast Draw carries the new FAFNIR missile system and wears the necessary protective suit to shield himself from hot exhaust gases. The FAFNIR target acquisition and homing devices are all self-contained in the missile itself allowing the operator to take cover immediately after launch. Target lock-on displays are protected on the interior of the helmet face plate as well as threat and malfunction warnings. The missile is extremely fast and resistant to ECM jamming."

It goes on to say that "Fast Draw thinks of himself as an old-west gunfighter. A whole squadron of COBRA STUNS could be rumbling across the landscape at him and he just stands there with a missile rack in each hand and that 'come-and-get-it' look in his eyes. You might call him arrogant but at least he has the firepower to back him up."

GI Joe Vintage Fast Draw Action Figure
Fire and what now?
WHAT'S TO LIKE ABOUT THE GI JOE VINTAGE FAST DRAW ACTION FIGURE?

FIRST Released in 1987, Fast Draw was one of the harder figures to maintain over the years so this is a great score. A long list of problems score this figure including:

  • The blue air-tube breaking or missing - as you can see from the picture to the right the tube is in quite an awkward angle so you can see why it could break one day. 
  • The missile pylons were also prone to breaking. As it is the pylons for this particular Fast Draw are no longer aligned. 
  • The silver paint on the really cool slide down helmet was prone to chipping - ours has a big chip on the left side, and;
  • Naturally the firing triggers were prone to disappearing. 
SECOND: Yes, he does make you feel like a gunslinger, so concept-wise he's completely relateable (Just don't think too much about what's wrong about him).

When his visor comes down he's simply kick-ass:

GI Joe Fast Draw
I do not shoot with my hand. He who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.


WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT THE GI JOE VINTAGE FAST DRAW ACTION FIGURE?

FIRST Here's where all the debate starts. When it comes to Fast Draw there are many nitpicks that are well.... true:

  • He only has two shots then he goes home
  • Once he fires his missiles, the fins will ram into the assembly and will probably blow up right there. 
  • Most modern missile launchers are so strong that they have to be mounted or come with a tripod. Firing will cause Fast Draw to go into an uncontrolled spin. 
  • He'll never survive the back-blast. 
The GI Joe Vintage Fast Draw (Or parts of him) can be sourced on Ebay. 

GI Joe Vintage Fast Draw
A gunslinger knows pride: That invisible bone that keeps the neck stiff
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